i love you, but can't be in love with you

How do I explain this without hurting myself or making things more awkward than they already are? Well it’s a conclusion that has always presented itself since the beginning. It was pretty precarious, and I was certainly conscious of what I was getting myself into. I knew the outcome but yet insisted I carried out the experiment. And as no one would be surprised at the end – the expected result. I knew it would be this – I tried to shut it out till now. I love you, but can’t be in love with you.

I hope we become better friends from this. I hope we get closer after going through this. I hope we grow stronger in friendship. I hope you get to love me the way I do you – to love me, but not fall in love with me. I hope. I just hope. I was scared of one thing though. It was a hard decision for me because of this. It was a risky venture, because I was sacrificing something important. I was putting our growing friendship on the line for something bigger. But then the outcomes have shown that I can only love you, but not be in love with you.

I was pursuing a lover and leaving a friend behind. I see this and almost break down into tears on how love could make me blind. I love you but can’t be in love with you – because the former almost made lose you, now I wonder what the latter would do if it were true. I just have to love you but not fall in love with you. I pray for one thing though. I pray my fears doesn’t come true. My fear of losing someone I love, the fear of losing my friend, ‘cos I love you and can’t be in love with you.

I go away for a few days. I hope this time apart makes me see things clearly; makes me understand and come to terms. Terms that I can love you so dearly and not be in love with you. I also hope you grow to love me everyday we spend as friends – to love me but not fall in love with me. You beautiful, you beautiful, you beautiful it’s true, but it’s sure been a long time, and I’ve seen the truth – I love you, and can’t be in love with you.

Happuna! Seviyorumness!
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